Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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