Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
