just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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