I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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