He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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