I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
