Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
