Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
