Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't deserve a penis
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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