may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize