Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize