I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
