I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
