Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't turn off my feet"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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