If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
