hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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