Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize