I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I skipped work to stalk him.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
