There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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