i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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