You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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