i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
