i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
wow bdsm is so cute
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