I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
