found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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