I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
