they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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