my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
