i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
