We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
