He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
