They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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