Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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