everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
