3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
