So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
