I'm lost and stupid without you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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