It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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