That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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