I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
