so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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