his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize