He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
