matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
