oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize