There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
