so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
