Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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