you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And the cops told us we were all naked.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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