Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize