just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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