I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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