Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
