I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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