She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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