He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
