so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
