he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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