Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
