Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
