Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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