i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
a search helicopter?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
