wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
