Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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