dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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