SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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