yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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