I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
